Slow Fourier Transform

Eve Online, slow morning. I’m sitting in a station in a major mission hub, doing nothing important, when this comes up in local:

Vladimirovich2: ummm……

FallenAngel89: thanks!

FallenAngel89: it tickles

Vladimirovich2: what is that

FallenAngel89: your end!

Vladimirovich2: that wasn’t nice!

Vladimirovich2: asshole

FallenAngel89: dont try can flippin then if u dont know what ur doin

Vladimirovich2: fuck u!

snipereagle1: ROFL

FallenAngel89: thanks, but looks like i just fucked you

snipereagle1: pwn some noobs fallen angel?

Vladimirovich2: w.e

AAlek: lol dude that was hilarious

Kiel Artredies: you forgot to yell “suprise”

FallenAngel89: lol

FallenAngel89: dude seriously dropped a can on a hyperion

snipereagle1: lol, i think i missed something HILARIOUS

snipereagle1: LOL

snipereagle1: who was in the hyperion?

FallenAngel89: then stood there

AAlek: yup he dropped a can on a hyperion lo

AAlek: angel

FallenAngel89: lol i was in hyperion

snipereagle1: tehe

snipereagle1: so you took it back and fragged him to the stone age

FallenAngel89: lol yeah

snipereagle1: nice!

snipereagle1: what was he in?

FallenAngel89: an atron

Kiel Artredies: an atron xD

FallenAngel89: lol!

snipereagle1: atron

Kiel Artredies: oh man, that made my day

AAlek: well if he needs another ship lol i will buy him one that was great lol \

snipereagle1: HAHAHAHA

snipereagle1: +1 for that

Kiel Artredies: that single explosion made an otherwise dull day of floating in a belt worth while

snipereagle1: indeed

snipereagle1: just brightened my evening hearing about it

FallenAngel89: hehe

snipereagle1: hah

snipereagle1: wow…

snipereagle1: well, i was just checking skills

snipereagle1: and found one of the best convo’s in local OF ALL TIME!

FallenAngel89: lol your welcome

snipereagle1: XD

snipereagle1: nn

FallenAngel89: goodnight dude  I thought, ‘huh’? But then, it continued.

Vladimirovich2: come on asshole!!

Raiden MarkIV: o.O

Vladimirovich2: seee i can shoot stuff

FallenAngel89: dude drop it u dont wanna start nothing

Vladimirovich2: you scared now

AAlek: look i know you are pissed but this isnt what we are here for

Raiden MarkIV: XD

Vladimirovich2: FUCKKKKK

Vladimirovich2: damn u!!!!!!!!

Raiden MarkIV: lol did you guys piss in his corn flakes?

FallenAngel89: i told you dont MESSSSS WITH US!!

Vladimirovich2: stop crying

FallenAngel89: well first you flip me

FallenAngel89: i pop u

FallenAngel89: u come back again, flip me again

FallenAngel89: i pop you with an orca, dont you give up?

Vladimirovich2: fuck u asshole

FallenAngel89: ok child

Quizzness: …

FallenAngel89: shit noob flippers

Raiden MarkIV: lmao

Abraxis Kane: ha ha

FallenAngel89: thats twice he comes

Kiel Artredies: and twice he gets fucked up

Raiden MarkIV: lol

FallenAngel89: lol yup 

I get curious and addressbook him, he’s online but not in the system anymore. So I grab my covops and go looking where the unfortunate event happened.

Oliver Singh: You think he’ll show up a third time?

Kiel Artredies: and twice we laught till theres tears in our eyes

Kiel Artredies: hopefully

Oliver Singh: /emote settles down to watch and gets popcorn in anticipation. :)

Eventually, more audience from the Mozg channel arrives (since I mentioned it in there as it happened, because the pilot has an obviously Russian name, and Mozg is a major Russian channel) and we all settle around the Orca to watch. And the guy comes back.

In a Velator.

And starts shooting the Orca.

FallenAngel89: lol

FallenAngel89: DUDE do you not learn!!!!!!

Vladimirovich2: no way u can beat me 3 times

Kiel Artredies: oh lord….best night of mining…ever

Laeryssa Fiadi: this has got to be a troll.

FallenAngel89: dude how old are you

AAlek: just mine and keep it cool

Raiden MarkIV: i gotta see this

Joe Yong: matreshka, vodka, balalaika

FallenAngel89: omg

FallenAngel89: dude ur no match for an orca

Zyklon41: let him go

Zyklon41: he will learn …. eventually

Kiel Artredies: he can go anytime he wants, he just wont stop

Kiel Artredies: looks like we ave an audience

Oliver Singh: Убиться веником, получить за это премию Дарвина…

Zyklon41: indeed ^^

Vladimirovich2: DIE DAMNIT

Oliver Singh: /emote facedesks repeatedly.

Mind you, a single Velator is clearly not sufficient to even dent Orca’s normal shield regeneration. This one is properly tanked.

FallenAngel89: ROFL!

Joe Yong: ты его пилить на велике будешь до скончания века

Vladimirovich2: fuck!! wtf

AAlek: lol

AAlek: this is great lol

Vladimirovich2: this is a bullshit fucking game

AAlek: :)

Zyklon41: read guides

Angel Exodia: fuck guides

Zyklon41: it a amazing fucking game

Laeryssa Fiadi: go back to hello kitty online.

Angel Exodia: lol

Angel Exodia: learn like a real man

AAlek: watch out

Joe Yong: schoolboy)))

Angel Exodia: lol hello kitty

Zyklon41: i suppose he comes with fregates?

Vladimirovich2: you all suck!!!!

Kiel Artredies: better, rookie ship

Zyklon41: we <3 u

Zyklon41: haha

Raiden MarkIV: rookie boats =P

FallenAngel89: yeah, so far 2 atrons and a velator

Laeryssa Fiadi: …i still reckon its a publicity trolling of local.

Laeryssa Fiadi: no-one is that stupid.

Oliver Singh: Maybe I should donate him some money for further entertainment.

FallenAngel89: lol

AAlek: yes do it lol

ErwinVonRommel: dare i ask whats going on?

AAlek: poppp

FallenAngel89: why would someone do that though

Zyklon41: 0.01 ISK

Laeryssa Fiadi: beats me

Kiel Artredies: someone in a rookie ship is trying to shoot down an orca

AAlek: a grudge lol

AAlek: belt 7 lol

Zyklon41: 3times in a row

Zyklon41: xD

ErwinVonRommel: can i watch? lol where at?

Caboosetheawesome: LEROY!!!!!!!

Oliver Singh: Belt 7. :)

Zyklon41: Belt 7

FallenAngel89: last ab belt

Vladimirovich2: eve sucks, you people are evil

Zyklon41: indeed

Oliver Singh: Actually, everybody has been /exceedingly/ nice to you so far.

Joe Yong: 0w yeah, mighty velator

Vladimirovich2: then WHY WONT THIS ASSHOLE DIE

ErwinVonRommel: whats a domination control tower?

Kiel Artredies: maybe you’d get a bit father if you tried to kill rats with a rookie ship instead of a large sub-capital ship

Oliver Singh: Because he’s ten times bigger than you, duh.

FallenAngel89: did you flipped my can so u deserve it

Zyklon41: watch out orca :D Velator is coming

AAlek: lol  Vladimirovich2: your shields are taking damage

Oliver Singh: That’s what shield rechargers are for.

Joe Yong: 1000 velators and orca dies

Laeryssa Fiadi: actually, his orca is closer to 1000 times bigger tbh :p

Raiden MarkIV: lol a civ shield boost can tank him

FallenAngel89: lol

Oliver Singh: Well, about 400 velators would be sufficient, I expect, but one definitely doesn’t quite cut it. :)

FallenAngel89: rofl

Zyklon41: 400 in the same time

Oliver Singh: Yes.

Zyklon41: not only urself

Vladimirovich2: your going down!

Laeryssa Fiadi: lol

Vladimirovich2: all of you!!!!

Zyklon41: ofc

Oliver Singh: Goons were famous for trying this early on, large swarm of velators.

Zyklon41: haha

Vladimirovich2: RAWR

AAlek: lol

Zyklon41: must be fun to see

AAlek: this is great

Kiel Artredies: this has got to be the best night i’ve ever had while mining, ever

Oliver Singh: Worked well enough to chew battleships in seconds.

FallenAngel89: ok buddy seriously stop

Vladimirovich2: no i see red on your shields, ur just scared

FallenAngel89: ok watch my shields now

FallenAngel89: hows that?

Oliver Singh: /emote is leaning towards the ‘active trolling attempt’ now. :)

Vladimirovich2: i still see some red

Laeryssa Fiadi: obvious troll is obvious

Vladimirovich2: why u calling me a troll

Vladimirovich2: your a fucking trolll

Zyklon41: we the full bar is red, he still have 2 layers to get down

Raiden MarkIV: lol 

Eventually the pilot of the Orca got got fed up with it.

FallenAngel89: dude seriously go away

Raiden MarkIV: cat sure does attract the cream of the ignorant population

Zyklon41: think it’s a fucking alt with a drugged pilot in there

Zyklon41: xD

FallenAngel89: yeah it does

FallenAngel89: and lol

AAlek: 1lol possibly

FallenAngel89: dude thats just a warning

FallenAngel89: leave b4 i pop u again

Zyklon41: you’re too kind xD

FallenAngel89: 10 seconds

Vladimirovich2: you wont do it

Zyklon41: let concord slap him

Zyklon41: will be fun

FallenAngel89: 5…. 

Drones go live…

Joe Yong: haha drama ))

Kiel Artredies: hes gotten you twice, you think a third is gonna be different?

AAlek: hahahaha

Joe Yong: babah

Axel vonSchalscha: I#m loling my ass off

Raiden MarkIV: im tempted to pop my wolf on a sui

Acer Fox: lolz

Boom.

Vladimirovich2: i get free velators you aint win shit!!

Axel vonSchalscha: XD

Raiden MarkIV: send him back to noob town

Oliver Singh: /emote has no words.

FallenAngel89: ok buddy

Caboosetheawesome: BRING ANOTHER!!!!

Joe Yong: MOAR velators!!!!

Vladimirovich2: FUCK U!!!!!

AAlek: i think he is pissed at fallen

Vladimirovich2: I QUIT THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!

Zyklon41: bye

Laeryssa Fiadi: can i get a velator and suicide on your orca too Fallenangel?

Caboosetheawesome: NO DON’T!!!!

Oliver Singh: And, he logged off.

Joe Yong: sob

FallenAngel89: LOL

FallenAngel89: o man 

What keeps amazing me to this moment is that he apparently actually expected to take down an Orca solo in a ship many times smaller than it was, on his first game day.